Going Back to Work After Losing a Baby

There’s no handbook for returning to a world that kept spinning while yours came to a heartbreaking halt. After the loss of a baby, even the simple act of getting out of bed can feel like moving through wet cement. And now—somehow—you’re expected to show up, smile, and “get back to normal” at work.

But what is normal now?

Let’s say this first: there is no right way to go back. And you’re not weak, wrong, or broken if you’re not ready. You are grieving, and grief rewrites everything.

🌫 Your Heart is Not a Switch

You don’t leave your grief at home when you walk into the office. It sits with you in meetings. It lingers in the silence between emails. It aches when someone asks how you are and you’re not sure whether to lie or cry.

You’re allowed to carry both your grief and your responsibilities. They can co-exist. One does not cancel out the other.

🧭 Give Yourself Permission to Be Different

You might not be the same person who left. That’s okay. Don’t force yourself into a version of you that no longer exists. Show up as you are—fragile, fierce, grieving, functioning, numb, healing—whatever the day brings.

Some days you’ll get things done. Other days, opening your inbox may feel like a mountain. Both are valid.

🗣 Speak Your Needs Before the Silence Drowns You

If your workplace allows it, tell your manager or HR what you need. A gradual return, quiet breaks during the day, lighter responsibilities at first—it’s not too much to ask. You are allowed to advocate for your healing.

And if you can’t say it out loud? Write it down. Send it in an email. Let someone speak on your behalf. You don’t have to carry it all alone.

💔 Expect the Unexpected

Triggers are real. A colleague’s pregnancy announcement. A baby crying in a waiting room. A casual comment from someone who means well but doesn’t know.

You may feel a lump rise in your throat out of nowhere. Breathe. Step away. Cry if you need to. You are not dramatic. You are not overreacting. You are grieving.

Keep grounding tools nearby—a scripture, a photo, a soft scarf, a phrase that brings you back. Little lifelines that tether you to strength.

Here are 5 hacks you could try as you get back to work

💼 1. Create a Gentle Buffer Zone

Hack: Plan your return midweek (like a Wednesday).
Why? Starting midweek gives you a shorter first stretch—just 2 or 3 days—before the weekend gives you room to breathe again. This small change can make a big difference emotionally and physically.

🧾 2. Prepare a One-Line Response for Questions

Hack: Write a go-to sentence like:

“Thank you for your care—I'm taking things one day at a time.”

It’s short, kind, and creates a boundary. You avoid over-explaining or feeling caught off guard. Practicing this line beforehand makes it easier to deliver when emotions hit.

🧘🏽‍♀️ 3. Anchor Your Day with a Comfort Ritual

Hack: Choose one mini ritual for the start and end of your day:

• A 5-minute meditation in the car
  
  

• A warm drink in your favorite mug
  
  

• Listening to a song that grounds you
  
  

This gives your body and brain a “transition moment” that says, I’m safe. I’m here. I can do this.

💻 4. Create a Safe Zone in Your Workspace

Hack: Bring a small, soothing object with you—a stone, soft cloth, tiny framed quote, or essential oil roller.
Something you can touch, smell, or see when emotions rise. It’s like having a quiet friend with you at all times.

📅 5. Set Calendar Reminders for Breaks

Hack: Schedule short 5–10 minute blocks mid-morning and mid-afternoon—even if you just step outside or stretch in the bathroom.
Use this time to breathe, cry if needed, or just stare out the window. A simple reminder can interrupt stress buildup and protect your energy.

Remember: 

🤍 You Are More Than Your Productivity

You don’t need to prove anything. You’re not behind. You’re not failing. You're healing—and that, in itself, is a full-time job.

If no one else says it: we’re proud of you. For showing up. For trying. For just being here.

You are doing sacred work. One breath at a time.